Thursday, 18 September 2008

• Asian girls make me puke in my mouth a little

  Why do Asian girls have a tendency to look other Asian girls up and down? I call it, Asian-girl-stare-down syndrome. Henceforth, AGSDS. It's not attractive at all. STOP!

  

  What's worse is when you are introduced to the starers. They give you a "heh" instead of a "hello" or a "hi, nice to meet you" with a miniscule handshake and smirk or sometimes without a handshake at all.

  It really makes them look absolutely stupid and overwhelmingly insecure.

  I usually end up befriending the ones who are a bit like me, a bit nonchalant, a bit less judgmental yet a bit more secure and just plain happy to be meeting someone new. Cordial yet awkward is much more cute than someone who is aloof and lacks confidence. If I meet an attractive girl, I'm not going to put my head back into my tortoise shell or shy away like a little puppy. I'm going to actually do what is unknown to Asian women, say my introduction and give them a compliment.

   

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  Asian girls who drive with a bunch of crap hanging from their rearview mirror with Hello Kitty stickers on their fuel doors and stuffed animals in their back seat are probably once again the culprits of AGSDS. They are also the culprits of driving exactly like their Asian mothers...really slow and really oblivious to all traffic surrounding them within a 5 mile radius.

  

   

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  Girls with AGSDS are usually dinner-whores. That's perfectly fine if you're still in college and broke and are dating older men who are in the workforce who are not students. Students who are dinner-whores are just dinner-whores. Eat out and peace out. Women who are over 25 and are still dinner-whores are not just innocently dinner-whores anymore, they are manipulative/conniving whores.

  

  I once had a chance to hang out with one of these. My very young gf asked me to go shopping with her with another friend of her's. My gf is very attractive. Very tall, with a nice ass and a cute-as-a-button face. Very ditzy, but very sweet. Being that she is a naive white-girl, she said that her gf and I would love each other. I think she just meant that because we were both Asian, but mind you, I'm just Asian, her gf is Southeast Asian. Big difference.

  Anyway, my gf and I are in my car waiting for this gal. I see a girl with her knockers hanging out of her blouse with her barnyard zipper unzipped and I laugh hitting my gf, "Oh my goodness! Did you see that girl walk happily down the street with her zipper undone?"

  Well, coincidentally, that was my gf's friend.

  She yells out the window, "Hey! We're right here! And your zipper is undone!" She comes up to the window and rudely and abruptly looks at me and says, "Hey, can you guys come in and buy my stuff for me? They're going to catch on to me for using so many coupons!"

  Are you kidding me? I don't even know your name, I'm not buying your shit for you with your bootleg coupons.

  I just say, "Hey, I'm "Bunny," what's your name?

  Long story short, I go into the store but stay miles away from her and her ghetto shopping spree. She got tons of coupons from this guy she's seeing but I hear you can only use it once even though you're using multiples of them at once. So you could collectively use these coupons but only once so she was buying $500 worth of things for like $20 but she had so many she kept going back to different cash registers to buy more things.

  With all of the coupons this dumbass gave her, guess what she bought him with the coupons? A belt and a shirt. How generous of you.

  So they talk about a free dinner and drinks with this dumbass and I decline to go. I tell them it's not worth driving over the bridge for that especially since I don't know the dude. My gf is begging me to go. Her friend says, "So I guess you're not used to men buying you dinner."

  I say, "Oh yes I am. I'm just not a dinner-whore anymore. Have fun!"

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